And I can't find work? Anderson Varejao = Brazil Laimbeer

So, sorry I haven't been around to comment. I missed you, but hunting for a job is the shittiest of all the jobs to have. But there've been so many high men out there lately that my absence, dutiful or not, can no longer suffice.

Terrel Prior being made into an action figure: amazing. And the fan who got too excited about Lebron's fiddy, Monica Seles anyone?

First I want to announce the the nickname of Anderson Varejao. I've been referring to him as Brazil Laimbeer for two seasons and it needs to hit the internets — BIG — because he's finally hitting the jumper. And he shoots it on his tip-toes, just like the original Laimbeer, the lame beer.



You know what's fuct about the picture above? It's only from last year. And just for the record, I hated Bill Laimbeer. When you call someone at school a "fuck" — he's a "fuck". And that's his game, he stood in the lane and tried to fuck you. Varejao is an equal but opposite Laimbeer, he stands in the middle of the lane waiting for you to fuck him.

Laimbeer is white, Varejao is Brown. Short straight hair, long curly hair. Even number, odd number. But both are lanky, duck-footed with soft-hands and a knack for stirring frustration.

Also, I like Sideshow Varejao. Laimbeer, as much as he was easy to hate, was a doGGG and he was vital to the Bad Boys signature. Varejao is that for the Cavs. Every other team hates him and even some Cavs fans hate him, but he's our Brazil Laimbeer, and when the Cavs win it all in two years, he'll be there hoisting the trophy... while laying on the ground.

Brazil Laimbeer. Spread it.


____________________________________________________


I'd also like to reiterate my fears about the Cavs trade, the most deep-seeded of which is that the Bulls turn it around, make the playoffs as the 6 and defeat Cleveland in Round 1. LBJ's points are up and his assists are down. You know how a degree or two temperature change, on a large enough scale, is devastating? Those stats are the tells of basketball team chemistry plate tectonic pressure. Somewhere deep within the Cavs structure, a crack is fissuring.

Delonte is nice though. He's a red-haired, lefty, tweener who is perfectly cogent but sounds a little like a short-bus version of Tim Meadows' Ladies Man, with a strawberry on his lower lip. That's Free Darko as far a I know. Inventing another short-hand descriptor would be redundant. Delonte and his FD-ness makes plays, and despite his waif silhouette he gets up on the glass.

Please stay healthy.

Fuck ScerBRICK. Anybody who sympathizes with him 'n his is bitchmade. Joe Smith has been interesting. The other night Ben Wallace had four rebounds in the first 5 minutes. He finished with 6. Asshole.
____________________________________________________




The Phoeniz Suns mascot is choking on the gunk in his throat in this amazing anti-tobacco campaign that seems to've learned nothing from the Just Say No ads that created a generation of Yes.

The gorilla raps. And there's separate sections for "Talk to Us" and then the more free form "Rap to Us". The best is the site is called personalfoul.org and there's no Rasheed. It is an anti-smoking campaign I s'pose.
____________________________________________________


Finally, this week's THM is the group of illegal immigrants who sewed the word "Los" on the Suns and Spurs jerseys before Sunday's contest. This collage is dedicated to them: