It was the spiders

— NBA rock legend J.R. (don't call me names from the Bible) Rider arrested in stolen car




Now, J.R. Love, as we all know, invented the East Bay Funk Dunk, which is legend because it was the first world-witnessed spectacle of a through-the-legs dunk. The technical savvy in the art has been since elevated in the software upgrades of Vince, another J.R. (Jason Richardson), Gerald Green and... on and... Soon someone is going to do a flip and the EBFD will be but a coffee stain on the Final Summation.

J.R. gave us such Lawrence Taylor-esque gems as claiming he could be found hanging out on street corners shooting dice with his friends in Oakland because — of course — those are his friends and that's what they/"we" do.

And now he's stealing cars and racking up cocaine possession charges. [Sigh.] Doing coke with J.R. seems like it would just be a nightmare wave of never-ending repetitious fragments aimed generally at you about how fly he was.

J.R., you just wanted to get too close to the sun. Too high. Too fast. Too young. All that rock. All that dust. Back to Mars, J.R., you were too hot for this world.

The story of the first true Rider sure was entertaining though, if truncated and peppered with ill decision. It's comforting in a twisted way to know that little J.R.s like Richardson and Smith are out there abiding— takin' it wild for all us easy goers. Indeed, to one of the greats:




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Oh, yeah, Filly the Grid is getting up and getting stronger getting stronger GETTING STRONGER in the brackets. All you MFn Freddie Fall Offs can eat it up 'til you hic' it up. Did anyone else hear Billy Packer talking about high-cotton during Memphis-Texas garbage time? Racist.